Dr. Sadistic & The Silverking Crybabies!


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When I was a baby, my manhood was snipped
The operation was a maul
The doctor was drunk, the knife it slipped
My future went rolling down the hall

Daddy, where are my balls?

Mom and Dad thought it would calm me down
Iit only made me badder
My high l. Q. and extra chromosomes
Made a weird situation sadder


I went punk ahead of my time, it just came natural to me
A whole new breed will follow my lead, just wait around and see

I could have been a normal little kid, run around and play ball
But somehow I just don't f it in, I don't fit in at all


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Before you go to dance class, come along with me
I got something in my gym bag that'll really set you free
An older guy, a sophomore, turned me on to Ripple
The day goes by much better when your brain’s completely crippled

I'm a Teenage Wino, stay drunk all the time
What the hell do I know?  I'm just a Teenage Wino

In the back seat of the school bus, we'll drink some cheap rosÈ
We'll pass out on the football field, middle of the day
I got Gallo in my locker, Thunderbird under my bed
A flask strapped round my ankle, there's Boone's Farm in my head
I'm a Teenage Wino...

I'm lacking social prowess, my physique is not so big
So I sit with the custodian and take a little swig
I forget about the future, I forget about the past
Float in teenage heaven, long as the Ripple lasts
I'm a Teenage Wino...

We'll blow lunch off the school bus, then "ralph" at study hall
Yawn in Technicolor, toss our cookies on the wall
Stop down at the clinic for a weekly stomach pump
Put our liver in a quiver, never take a solid dump
I'm a Teenage Wino...

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Down at the Pogo-a-Gogo, pogo on my Nazi logo
Got a great big nasty on my chin, I hope my parents walk in

Got a REAL BAD CASE  (I wanna kill my momma)
Got a REAL BAD CASE  (I wanna choke my daddy)
Got a REAL BAD CASE  (I wanna mutilate my brother)
Got a REAL BAD CASE  (I wanna penetrate my sister)

Dykes on bikes, flashin’ that skin
Tattooed skin with scenes of sin
Dirty little girl dressed in a diaper
Ratty blue hair, wanted me to wipe her

I got a REAL BAD CASE...

I feel so gaunt but I know what I want
The debutante in the pink bouffant
Punks were lookin’ funky in their safety pins
But I’m the only mutha with herpes on my chin


* * * *


All of my life, totally cool
Punched out a teacher, dropped out of school
Talkin' the hard line, broke every rule
I don't care what anybody say

I'M A CLICHE (yeah, yeah), EVERY DAY (yeah yeah)
I'M A CLICHE, I kinda like it that way

I'm your typical punk, rotten and crude
Sick disposition, bad attitude
Pusher for Cleveland's Mexican 'ludes
Nothing too original to say

I'M A CLICHE!  Out of my way!

Sent along a coupon from Creem Magazine
And I won a contest, "A Rocky Mountain Dream"
Gonna change my image, won't be a New Wave has-been
Polish up my Rossi's for my ski trip to Aspen

NOW l’M A TOTAL CLICHE, In the Western way!

Down to Sabbatini's for a new Bogner Suit
Nell's AprËs-ski, hot tubs and toot
Club card to Andre's, new cowboy boots
Brag about the turns I made today

I'M A CLICHE, yeah, yeah

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Met him at the Paragon, he couldn’t find the beat
He was champin’ at the bit, I could tell he was in heat
He lured me back to his place, somewhere by Little Nell
Locked me up in the guest room, looked like a scene from hell
But no, it was...
Condo Bondage, all covered with fruit and cream
Condo Bondage, makes me wanna scream!

Black lights a-glowin’ in the smoky smoky haze
I haven’t seen the sunlight in over forty days
Held captive by blind alligators crawlin’ on the floor
The fishing rod, the cattle prod, I just can’t take no more
Of this...
Condo Bondage, leather whips a-crackin’
Condo Bondage, juicy lips a-smackin’

Satin sheets were rotten, velvet cords were frayed
He offered me a goblet of Jonestown Gatorade
My mind became a vast morass in a moral wilderness
If only Captain Clean could see this nasty mess
He’d get me out of...
Condo Bondage, don’t give up all hope
Condo Bondage, you’re just a five-minute grovel from the slopes

All this S&M for only forty-thousand down
Really not too bad for the price of Real Estate in town
You too can purchase cruelty on the timeshare plan
Bring the wife and kids next time, bring the whole damn clan
For some... Condo... Condo Bondage!

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Have your next affair in Aspen town
Those L.A. chicks won't turn you down
Always on the take when they're on the make
But you got their number when you're puttin' out the flake

Gucci-Pucci Asshole -- Small dogs.  Big cars.  Face lift.  No scars!
Gucci-Pucci Asshole -- Just arrived via Rodeo Drive

She came in a Mercedes, smokin' Sherman cigarettes
Dropping lots of C-notes on backgammon bets
Too much coke for breakfast, use your nasal tamponettes
Buy a whole new wardrobe when you fall down and get wet


There's Therapy above Pinocchio's
That's where all the trust-fund babies go
Sew endangered species into your winter vest
Little fuzzy moon boots if you want to look your best


She's lookin' for some "boat people" to keep her condo clean
So the hippy-local-ski-bums won't clutter up her scene
She is so enamored with her brand new Prelude 3
She would rather vomit than to fall in love with me


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I don't care if you've got purple hair
It's just good to know that you're not all there
Those college and career girls, I can tell they're not your heroes
When you're lookin' back at me with two fat zeroes, and your...

Woo, woo, woo, BLANK STARE BABY
Woo, woo, woo, BLANK STARE BABY

I met you at the Timbermill, you had a big lobotomy bruise
You staggered 'round the dance floor, trying to work your shoes
Now, don't you go to night school, don't get into Zen or EST
That would only spoil your lovely partial awareness, and your

Woo, woo, woo, BLANK STARE BABY

You're my mental midget, you are my cranial dwarf
I dig your semi-conscious state of mind
There's a vacuum in your noggin that no one man can fill
There's a purpose to your life you'll never find

You climbed the microwave tower to watch the football game
When they pulled you down that evening, your mind was not the same
Your memory bank is closed, the walk-up-window's bare
Your mind's a vacant lot, there's no one parking there

Woo, woo, woo, BLANK STARE BABY
Woo, woo, woo, BLANK STARE BABY
.... you’re just a thousand miles away!

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At the Paragon we cleared the disco floor
Between the oozing kisses, I heard you whisper, "more"
We caught a loaded taxi, you attacked me in the back
How come when I get you home, all I get is flack?

Train yourself to like it, better learn to like it
Train yourself to like it, until you learn to love it like me

You dance with a punk to improve your disco image
But you ain’t into funk, down at the line of scrimmage
I bought all this equipment, I shaved off all my hair
It ain’t so I work up a sweat while you’re just lyin’ there
Train yourself to like it...

Let me tie you up, now we’ll have some fun
Let me check my manual to remember how it's done
When I touch you here, you’re supposed to feel like this
Just like robot love, don’t you dare resist
Train yourself to like it...

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Oh, what a beautiful morning, the snow falls pure on the peak
Just got thrown out of my condo, I'm back on my losin' streak
I'm on the side of this tourist town the brochures don’t show
I've used up my Adventure Pack, I'm skiing on yellow snow

I'm MAD AT THE WORLD, It's mad back at me
MAD AT THE WORLD, mad as I can be

Spent the night in a dumpster behind the Chart House
Rancid lemon butter and lobster claws and a little brown mouse
I'm in the alley screaming "Single!"  Nobody rides with me
I look up at the mountain mansions, RED is all I see

The friendly Aspen sheriff picked me up on the morning sweep
They'll pack me off to Cleveland like a helpless little sheep
Another day at the factory is something I can't see
I'm gonna piss off some drunken cowboy who'll put me out of my misery

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Punch in at the factory, punch in at the dock
Puts me on the rag
Poundin’ out the pieces, trying to beat the clock
I feel like a punching bag

Hey big fella, Beat me to a pulp!
Hey big fella, Beat me to a pulp!

I’m just like you, I never had it easy
No one ever asked me if I wanted to be sleazy
Never had the breaks, just the bellyaches
Now when I need action, put me into traction!
Hey big fella, Beat me to a pulp!

Let’s have a party at my place
Let’s have a party on my face
We’ll invite the Red Army, and the P.L.O.
Get Muhammad Ali to strike the fatal blow
Hey big fella, Beat me to a pulp!

(spoken . . .) Don’t be gentle, don’t be sentimental
Love me with persuasion, love me with abrasion
Don’t give me pussy, don’t give me head
Beat me to a pulp, and leave me for dead

(Click here for "Maroon Balls" lyrics)

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